Doula Support

 What is a Doula? Why have one? How can that help me? All the usual questions that I get from people that have never had a doula, or investigated it themselves.

Here, I attempt to cover as much as I can, but since I am in the slow process of creating a standalone website for my doula work, it will be quite cut short here! (cut from my last blog I am afraid! I'm a mum, and a self-employed person - and a wannabe writer/blogger/creative web producer!! But not quite got the time for that!

So, what is a doula?

A doula is a caring, compassionate support to the parents. Not a midwife, not a coach, but someone there who is experienced in birth,  gets to know the parents beforehand, and values the parents’ views on how they would like their birth to be. In the current days of hard-stretched midwives, the lack of homebirth support, the pressure of the father to be the expert in all areas, whilst going through what dads often express as distressing if they feel the pressure is all on them, a doula is there to support you both. A doula can be as much ‘there’ or ‘in the background’ as you like, helping you to keep birth the beautiful, normal thing that it should still be.

When is a doula there to help?

Preparation

As your birth doula, I would arrange with you a couple of ante-natal visits, to listen to your thoughts, ideas, concerns, expectations, desires etc. Help with any fear releasing or anxieties. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is wonderful for that.

I also offer a borrowing library and suggestions of links to very useful articles online. For pregnancy, preparation, birth and caring for your baby.

I can offer, but would require separate sessions, birthing hypnosis to help with the birth. The benefits are:

  • Teaches the beauty of rediscovering our natural birthing instinct
  • Teaches techniques to defuse the fear and tension that cause pain in birthing.

I can help you with birth plan assistance, to help you clarify your preferences for birth and explain the options that are available to you.

Birth

I will be there to offer continuous emotional and physical support for you and your partner for the duration of your labour and birth. To help you hold and move towards your ideals for your birth.

To help you feel nurtured and supported in the moments after birth, and help you feel relaxed and able to peacefully bond with your new baby, and give you the support to help you with early establishment of breastfeeding.

A follow up visit to celebrate the birth of your baby, and be there to answer any questions you have following the birth.

I also offer unlimited telephone and email support to help you with any questions you have in the run up to the birth of your baby.

What does a Post-natal Doula offer?

Help in the early days of being a new parent, and this varies from parent to parent, and can be whatever you need at the time. It could be an ear to listen, popping the shopping away, entertaining your older children, looking after the baby whilst you have a bath, help with feeding, almost anything that can help you.
It’s probably easier to say what a post-natal doula doesn’t do. It is perfectly normal for a post-natal doula to pick up & pop away household stuff, to save you from having to look at it, make you a cup of tea and a sandwich, but a doula isn’t a cleaner or dog walker, as somebody else could be employed to take these needs on!
Basically, whatever it takes to make you feel nurtured and supported in the early days of a new baby in the family.

What benefits are there of having a doula?

Well, that one is a long and vast answer, so I will create many different full posts with lots of individual details later on… for the moment, I just want to let you all know what it is that I am doing, and why!

So, that brings me seamlessly to Why?

My first baby was born after a 40 plus hour labour, that was filled with fear, distress and resulted in an episiotomy, failed ventouse, forceps delivery, with 3rd degree tears, and a baby who had to be resuscitated once born.  Difficulty bonding my my baby, failed breastfeeding and post-natal depression and what I now know was PTSD (post tramatic stress disorder).

With the support of other mum’s through NCT groups, I worked on my anxieties and fears from my first baby, and had the most perfect midwife and a much more supportive husband, and a largely more active labour, which resulted in my second baby, who was quite significantly bigger than my first and amazingly the most healing and emotionally satisfying experience of my life. Feeding was so much easier once I had support from a breastfeeding counsellor who helped me to believe in my natural ability to feed my baby.

I was then asked by a friend who had already had two emergency c-sections (1 being a failed VBAC) to be a birthing partner for her and her husband. What an amazing experience to be with them whilst she succeeded in her VBA2C. It taught me that we need to be able to feel safe, relaxed and undisturbed in order for the natural process to happen, and at it’s own pace, not that of the hospitals time policies, which have been decreased over the years, as resources have become stretched, and birth even more medicalised, and most cases is truly not helpful.

The next step in my journey was a plan for a home waterbirth, but as luck would have it, my one baby became two as the egg split, and so even after a trouble free full-term pregnancy, I agreed to giving birth in the hospital. This time, I had my husband (who wasn’t an ex at that point!) and a doula with me. In my mind, she was my rock, my guardian, my husband pacifier, my translator and go-getter when my grunt really meant “would you kindly pass me the water please”. She was the only one who seemed to recognise that I was in transition when I suddenly couldn’t do it any longer, and had changed my mind about my babies. She was the one who picked baby number one up out of the cot, when they whisked her off me whilst I was delivering baby number two, meaning that I didn’t feel like I was neglecting poor shocked number one. She was the one who believed in me being more than capable the whole way through, and made sure I knew it, even when I felt like giving up at times. She also (last but not least), the person who gave my husband the confidence to feel assured everything was going normally, and made him feel supported.

If I can help mothers-to-be to have the same support, and therefore the birth experience that they would really like to have, and a calm happy baby as a result, then I’m a very happy woman!

… and as first mentioned, I will continue to see the various clients that find me as normal, through word of mouth etc, and so don’t be put of by where my  marketing is going… I just want people to know what it is that I am doing!

What a wonderful job I have!!

I just want to leave you with an article that I read and thought was perfectly put into words… below is the link to it. The article is  in the homebirth section of a website, but is as much a relevant article for those who are wanting their birth to be in a hospital. It gives food for thought, and a chance to make an informed decision.

http://www.pregnancy.com.au/birth-choices/homebirth/out-of-the-laboratory-back-to-the-darkened-room.shtml

Jay x

ps... In the process of my training, if you are one of the next four births that I attend, then you will be lucky enough to have my service at a reduced price, as I continue my training. My full website (when completed!) will have a breakdown of Doula costs. Call or email me for any info in the meantime.